Posts tagged FAQ

I would love to help you with your paper, project, survey, collaboration, research, etc., however I can only offer you what I have. I cannot go out of my way for everyone to find you exactly what you’re looking for.

1. The FAQ is where you should check first.
2. Next, you should check my favorite sites. These are where I find a lot of my information. Each has a description to help you narrow down what you’re looking for. 
3. Maybe what you need is in my favorite posts, especially under the “Resources/Guides” section. 
4. Wait for the tags on the side of FYLGBT’s main page to load. If they are slow to load, insert a /tagged/_____ to the end of the main URL, ie /tagged/homophobia. If it’s more than one word, insert a plus sign, ie. /tagged/gay+marriage. 
5. Not everything has a tag, so perhaps you can try searching for it on the search bar. 

How do I come out?

Everyone comes out differently. Here are just some ways:

• Sit them down for a talk and Q&A when they aren’t busy
• Make a joke of it. I once said to a friend, ‘Let’s get one thing straight, I’m not’ and that worked fine
• Come out on National Coming Out Day
• Don’t come out! Live your life dedicated to LGBT issues and causes and make them ask you

Some helpful links I have are I’m Coming Out tumblr, When I Came Out tumblr, a post I made where over 100 people briefly shared their coming out, 101 Ways to Come Out of the Closet, and HRC’s Resource Guide to Coming Out. 

The best advice I can give is to be confident in coming out, be ready to handle rejection or disbelief, and think of responses to possible questions they may have or comments they may say. And good luck! <3

How do I find other LGBT people or find a relationship?

If you’re still in school or in college, joining or founding a GSA is an easy way to meet other LGBT people. Making it known you’re LGBT is an easy way for others to seek you instead of you having to search for them. You’d be surprised how many more gay people are out there than you’d think. The 2nd person I came out to in high school responded by saying, “I am too.” I would have never known that if I didn’t have the courage to come out to her first. This link and this one as well provide information about LGBT centers in your area. If you’re still looking to meet people, see if you can march in a pride parade, or attend a PFLAG meeting. 

At what age is it best to come out?

I think when you’re ready, mature, and sure of your sexuality, you can come out. If you’re 12, 13, 14, and you know you are LGBT, I will not deny this but it’s likely others will. Some people will claim to be gay because it’s an ‘in’ thing. Oftentimes, when people come out at a younger age, others will have doubt. I’d suggest waiting until you get a bit older but it’s a personal decision. 

Who do I come out to first?

This all depends on you. The first person everyone needs to come out to is themselves. After that, telling people will get easier. The first person I told was a stranger online because I knew they would not judge me and I was looking for advice. Talking anonymously to someone helped me a lot. If not anonymously, I’d suggest the person you tell first is someone trustworthy. Maybe a sibling, parent, family friend or best friend. Even if your best friend doesn’t believe or accept you, as a best friend, they should still stand by your side. 

More to be added, so check back! Check out the other FAQs here!

What does bisexual mean?

Bisexual means to have an attraction to both males/men and females/women. This does not mean you have to like both at the same time, nor does it mean your bisexuality is lax when you’re in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship, meaning, it doesn’t disappear. You can read more here.

What does pansexual mean? 

Pansexuals, like bisexuals, like men and women, but also are attracted to those outside of the gender binary meaning they can be attracted to genderqueers, intersex, and agendered people. You can read more here.

What does intersex mean?

Intersexuality is being born with primary or secondary sex characteristics that do not fit the sex spectrum of male/female. This is often discovered at birth if the sex organs are underdeveloped or not as they should be, at puberty if the body doesn’t change as it should, or in adulthood if a person realizes that they are infertile. There are about 16 different ways to be intersex. You can read more here or here. 

What is transgender/transsexual mean?

Transgender can mean lots of things. Normally, it means a person whose gender identity/expression is not align with their biological body. The most common description is “a woman feeling trapped in a male’s body” or vise versa (man in a female’s body). It can also mean someone who rejects the gender binary of man/woman or someone whose behaviors stray from the norm of gender binary.

Transsexuals, as I believe, are transgenders who have undergone surgery to correct their sex to fit their gender. These words, however, can change depending on the person. See here. 

What does bigender mean?

Bigender is a form of transgenderism where a person has both masculine and feminine traits, feeling they are both a man and a woman. You can read more here.

What does asexual mean?

Asexual means that a person does not experience sexual attraction. You can read more here or send any questions about it to Asexual Advice.

What does genderqueer mean?

Genderqueer is a catchall term for anyone outside of the gender binary of man/woman. That can mean they are both, none or switch on different days. They play with gender. 

What’s the difference between sex and gender?

See here or here to learn about sex and gender.  

Check out the other FAQs here!

Is it a choice?

Sexual orientation is not a choice. The romantic, emotional and/or sexual feelings that come with your orientation are not for you to choose; However, acting on these feelings is your choice. This is not just true of homosexuality, but heterosexuality as well. Heterosexuals do not choose who to like, and if they could, life would probably be a lot easier. Same for homosexuals who face so much discrimination because of who they are. 

What causes sexual orientation?

I think the American Psychological Association puts it best: 

There are numerous theories about the origins of a person’s sexual orientation. Most scientists today agree that sexual orientation is most likely the result of a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors. In most people, sexual orientation is shaped at an early age. There is also considerable recent evidence to suggest that biology, including genetic or inborn hormonal factors, play a significant role in a person’s sexuality.

 It’s important to recognize that there are probably many reasons for a person’s sexual orientation, and the reasons may be different for different people.

Can it be changed?

The American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Psychoanalytic Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the National Association of Social Workers have all stated that homosexuality should not be treated as a mental disorder and that they oppose attempts at reparative or conversion therapy. And that sexual orientation is not a choice, and cannot be changed.

Send in questions you’d like to see on the FAQs here!

Can I be gay and Christian?

Yes. Absolutely. 100 percent. Any way you want to say it, it’s okay to be gay and Christian. Where the argument comes into play here is whether or not you believe God condemns or sanctifies gay relationships. As Gay Christian Network refers to it, there are ‘Side A’ Christians and ‘Side B’ Christians. Side A Christians believe that God sanctifies loving, committed same sex relationships, while Side B Christians believe that gays are called to celibacy and that God condemns gay relationships. There isn’t a true right or wrong, and it depends on your denomination and what you think it means to be Christian. But there are no true Christian sects that condemn gay people for being gay. 

I thought Leviticus called homosexuality an ‘abomination’?

Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13 both state that is is an abomination for a man to lie with another man as with a woman. It does not condemn being gay. There’s a big difference here. Leviticus had 613 rules that the Pharisees followed. It condemns shaving, wearing mixed fabrics, interbreeding animals, tattoos, mixing seeds in a field, and many other things.

The New Testament tells us over and over again that the rules of the Old Testament no longer apply. Like the vision Peter had when God lowered down the sheet full of forbidden animals and he told Peter to eat them, and when Peter refuses, God says “Don’t call unclean what I have made clean.” (Acts 10:9-16)

Abomination was the King James’ translations of a Hebrew word that meant ‘something forbidden’, in this case, to the Israelites. Eagles and shellfish were called abominations because they weren’t allowed to be eaten. Some things that Leviticus says we would still follow today (like eating eagles).

Both Side A Christians and Side B Christians, (see above question) would agree that Leviticus condemns gay sex, but does not condemn being gay. They would both also agree that Leviticus condemns a lot of things that we no longer condemn today and probably isn’t the best place to go to for moral guidance. Where the sides disagree is whether or not gay relationships are condemned, not just because of what is said in Leviticus, but because of how their Christian denomination interprets it. There is a lot more to this debate, so if you have any more questions, feel free to ask. Above all, remember that God would never make you an abomination, and that He loves you.

Doesn’t 1 Corinthians 6:9 condemn homosexuality?

See this post!

Were Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed for being gay?

Click here or here for the answer!

What does Romans 1:26-27 say about homosexuality?

Read this post!

What are ‘ex-gay ministries?’

An ex-gay ministry is a movement to try and change a person’s sexual orientation based on therapy sessions, medicines, or even aversion or shock treatment. These are psychologically, and sometimes physically, damaging to a gay person. Ex-gay treatment has been deemed dangerous by many leading organizations as these statements will show: 

“The American Psychiatric Association opposes any psychiatric treatment, such as ‘reparative’ or conversion therapy, which is based upon the assumption that homosexuality per se is a mental disorder or based upon the a priori assumption that a patient should change his/her sexual homosexual orientation. In doing so, the APA joins many other professional organizations that either oppose or are critical of ‘reparative’ therapies, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Counseling Association, and the National Association of Social Workers.

“The potential risks of ‘reparative therapy’ are great, including depression, anxiety, and self-destructive behavior, since therapist alignment with societal prejudices against homosexuality may reinforce self-hatred already experienced by the patient. Many patients who have undergone ‘reparative therapy’ report that they were inaccurately told that homosexuals are lonely, unhappy individuals who never achieve acceptance or satisfaction. The possibility that the person might achieve happiness and satisfying interpersonal relationships as a gay man or lesbian is not presented, nor are alternative approaches to dealing with the effects of societal stigmatization discussed.”

— American Psychiatric Association

“Therapy directed specifically at changing sexual orientation is contraindicated, since it can provoke guilt and anxiety while having little or no potential for achieving changes in orientation.”

— American Academy of Pediatrics

“Research findings suggest that efforts to repair homosexuals are nothing more than social prejudice garbed in psychological accouterments.”

“For over three decades, the consensus of the mental-health community has been that homosexuality is not an illness and therefore not in need of a cure. The APA’s concern about the positions espoused by NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) and so-called conversion therapies is that they are not supported by the science. There is simply no sufficiently scientifically sound evidence that sexual orientation can be changed. Our further concern is that the positions espoused by NARTH and Focus on the Family create an environment in which prejudice and discrimination can flourish.”

— American Psychological Association

Former ex-gay leaders from Exodus, one of the largest ex-gay ministries, have even come out and apologized, stating that they did not see any of their patients become heterosexual. 

Are there any support groups for LGBT Christians?

For any LGBT Christians faced with ex-gay ministries, there is help at Beyond Ex-Gay. Gay Christian Network also has a website and youtube videos to help with some of the hard questions I’ve answered above. They also share views of both side A Christians and side B Christians. Courage is a Catholic organization that wishes to help LGBT Christians stay celibate (if you’re on side B) and they do not wish to change your sexual orientation. Personally though, I’m a little cautious about their work because I read the Member Testimonies and most were very stereotypical about gay people (such as a man with an absent father and an overbearing mother), and almost all of them had gay people living very promiscuous and drug-filled lives. 

Please keep in mind that this list is rudimentary, and that what comes with language is its ability to adapt, mutate and change.  Terms are presented to you for the purpose of communication, and this list should hardly be considered an authoritative source.

ACE: shortened version of and slang term for Asexual, and slang term for Aromantic.

AG/AGGRESIVE: See ‘Stud.’

AGENDERED: Person is internally ungendered.

ALLY: A person who confronts heterosexism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, heterosexual privilege, and so on, in themselves and others out of self-interest and a concern for the well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and other queer-related people, and who believes that heterosexism is a social injustice.

ANDROGYNE: A person with traits ascribed to males and females. Androgyny may be physical, presentational, or some combination.

AROMANTIC: (orientation) a- meaning non; the lack of romantic attraction, and one identifying with this orientation.

ASEXUALITY: A sexual orientation generally characterized by not feeling sexual attraction or a desire for partnered sexuality. Asexuality is distinct from celibacy, which is the deliberate abstention from sexual activity. Some asexuals do have sex. There are many diverse ways of being asexual. You can learn more about asexuality here. 

BEAR - The most common definition of a ‘bear’ is a man who has facial/body hair, and a cuddly body. However, the word ‘bear’ means many things to different people, even within the bear movement. Many men who do not have one or all of these characteristics define themselves as bears, making the term a very loose one. ‘Bear’ is often defined as more of an attitude and a sense of comfort with natural masculinity and bodies.

BERDACHE: A generic term used to refer to a third gender person (woman-livingman). The term ‘berdache’ is generally rejected as inappropriate and offensive by Native Peoples because it is a term that was assigned by European settlers to differently gendered Native Peoples. Appropriate terms vary by tribe and include: ‘one-spirit’, ‘two-spirit’, and ‘wintke.’

BICURIOUS: A curiosity about having sexual relations with a same gender/sex person.

BIGENDERED: Having two genders; exhibiting cultural characteristics of male and female roles.

BIPHOBIA: Fear or hatred of people who are bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, or nonmonosexual. Biphobia is closely linked with transphobia and homophobia.

BIROMANTIC: the romantic attraction to both male/men and female/women, and one identifying with this orientation.

BISEXUAL: A person whose primary sexual and affectional orientation is toward people of the same and other genders, or towards people regardless of their gender. You can learn more about bisexuality here. 

BOI: also known as a ‘soft butch’. Not necessarily less of a butch, it is just a completely different attitude/style. Boi’s are more of the ‘new-age’ butch. There is a different type of swagger and style than Butch. Also used as a term of affection from a Femme.

BUTCH: A person who identifies themselves as masculine, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. ‘Butch’ is sometimes used as a derogatory term for lesbians, but it can also be claimed as an affirmative identity label.

CISGENDER/CISSEXUAL/CISSEX: A gender identity that society considers to “match” the biological sex assigned at birth. The prefix cis- means “on this side of” or “not across from.” A term used to call attention to the privilege of people who are not transgendered.

COMING OUT: Describes voluntarily making public one’s sexual behaviors, or sexual or gender identity. Related terms include: “being out,” which means not concealing one’s sexual behaviors or preference or gender identity, and “outing,” a term used for making public the sexual behaviors or preference or gender identity of another who would prefer to keep this information secret.

CLOSETED: Refers to a homosexual, bisexual, transperson or intersex person who will not or cannot disclose their sex, sexuality, sexual orientation or gender identity to their friends, family, co-workers, or society. An intersex person may be closeted due to ignorance about their status since standard medical practice is to “correct,” whenever possible, intersex conditions early in childhood and to hide the medical history from the patient. There are varying degrees of being “in the closet”; for example, a person can be out in their social life, but in the closet at work, or with their family. Also known as ‘Downlow” or ‘D/L.’

CROSSDRESSER (CD): The most neutral word to describe a person who dresses, at least partially or part of the time, and for any number of reasons, in clothing associated with another gender within a particular society. Carries no implications of “usual” gender appearance, or sexual orientation. Has replaced “transvestite,” which is outdated, problematic, and generally offensive, since it was historically used to diagnose medical/mental health disorders.

DEMISEXUAL: Someone who is experiencing a level between sexuality and asexuality. The person does not experience sexual attraction to people based on appearance but rather on their level of intimate connection with the person.

DRAG: The performance of one or multiple genders theatrically.

DRAG KING: A woman who appears as a man on a temporary basis; she may or may not have any masculine expression in her usual life. Generally in reference to an act or performance. 

DRAG QUEEN: A man who appears as a woman on a temporary basis; he may or may not have any feminine expression in his usual life. Generally in reference to an act or performance. 

DYKE: Derogatory term referring to a masculine lesbian. Sometimes adopted affirmatively by lesbians (not necessarily masculine ones) to refer to themselves.

DYADIC: not being Intersex, mostly used by people who are Intersex.

E/EM: see Ey/Em; referring to one who is of undisclosed or non-binary gender.

EY/EM: see E/Em; referring to one who is of undisclosed or non-binary gender.

FAG: Derogatory term referring to someone perceived as non-heteronormative.

FAG HAG: A term primarily used to describe women who prefer the social company of gay men. While this term is claimed in an affirmative manner by some, it is largely regarded as derogatory.

FEMME – Feminine identified person of any gender/sex.

FTM (F2M): Female-to-male transsexual or transgender person. Someone assigned female at birth who identifies on the male spectrum.

GAY: A person (or adjective to describe a person) whose primary sexual and affectional orientation is toward people of the same gender; a commonly-used word for male homosexuals.

GENDER: A social construct used to classify a person as a man, woman, or some other identity. Fundamentally different from the sex one is assigned at birth.

GENDER BINARY: The idea that there are only two genders – male/female or man/woman and that a person must be strictly gendered as either/or. (See also ‘Identity Sphere.’)

GENDER EXPRESSION/PRESENTATION: How one expresses oneself, in terms of dress and/or behaviors that society characterizes as “masculine” or “feminine.” May also be androgynous or something else altogether.  Some people differentiate between the two terms.

GENDERFLUID: Being fluid in motion between two or more genders; shifting naturally in gender identity and/or gender expression/presentation. May be a gender identity itself. Refers to the fluidity of identity.

GENDERFUCK: A form of gender identity or expression, genderfuck is an intentional attempt to present a confusing gender identity that contributes to dismantling the perception of a gender binary.

GENDER IDENTITY: A person’s internal sense or self-conceptualization of their own gender. Used to call attention to the self-identification inherent in gender. Cisgender, transgender, man, woman, genderqueer, etc. are all gender identities.

GENDERISM: The belief that there are, and should be, only two genders and that one’s gender or most aspects of it are inevitably tied to the assigned sex.

GENDER NON-CONFORMING (GNC): A person who does not subscribe to gender expressions or roles expected of them by society.

GENDER OUTLAW: A person who refuses to be defined by conventional definitions of men and women. A term popularized by Kate Bornstein in her book of the same name.

GENDERQUEER: A person whose gender identity and/or gender expression falls outside of the dominant societal norm for their assigned sex, is beyond genders, or is some combination thereof.

GENDER VARIANT: A person whose gender identity and/or gender expression varies from the culturally-expected characteristics of their assigned sex. 

HATE CRIME: Hate Crime legislation often defines a hate crime as a crime motivated by the actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, ethnicity, gender, disability, or sexual orientation of any person.

HETERONORMATIVITY: The assumption, in individuals or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual, and that heterosexuality is superior to homosexuality and bisexuality.

HETEROROMANIC: a romantic attraction to the other sex/gender, and one identifying with this orientation. Typically female/women attracted to male/men, and vice versa.

HETEROSEXISM: The assumption that all people are or should be heterosexual. Heterosexism excludes the needs, concerns, and life experiences of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and other non-monosexual people as well as asexual, transgender, and intersex people, while it gives advantages to heterosexual people.  It is often a subtle form of oppression which reinforces realities of silence and invisibility.

HETEROSEXUALITY: A sexual orientation in which a person feels physically and emotionally attracted to people of the “opposite” gender. 

HETEROSEXUAL PRIVILEGE: Those benefits derived automatically by being heterosexual that are denied to homosexuals and bisexuals. Also, the benefits homosexuals and bisexuals receive as a result of claiming heterosexual identity or denying homosexual or bisexual identity.

HOMOPHOBIA: The irrational hatred and fear of homosexuals or homosexuality.  In a broader sense, any disapproval of homosexuality at all, regardless of motive.  Homophobia includes prejudice, discrimination, harassment, and acts of violence brought on by fear and hatred.  It occurs on personal, institutional, and societal levels, and is closely linked with transphobia, biphobia, and others.

HOMOROMANTIC: the romantic attraction to the same sex/gender, and one identifying with this orientation. Female/women romantically attracted to female/women, and male/men romantically attracted to male/men.

HOMOSEXUALITY: A sexual orientation in which a person feels physically and emotionally attracted to people of the same gender. This term originated within the psychiatric community to label people with a mental illness, and still appears within the current discourse, but is generally thought to be outdated.

INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA: The fear and self-hate of one’s own homosexuality or non-monosexuality that occurs for many individuals who have learned negative ideas about homosexuality throughout childhood.  One form of internalized oppression is the acceptance of the myths and stereotypes applied to the oppressed group. 

INTERGENDER: A person whose gender identity is between genders or a combination of genders.

INTERSEX: People who naturally (that is, without any medical interventions) develop primary and/or secondary sex characteristics that do not fit neatly into society’s definitions of male or female. Many visibly intersex babis/children are surgically altered by doctors to make their sex characteristics conform to societal binary norm expectations. Intersex people are relatively common, although society’s denial of their existence has allowed very little room for intersex issues to be discussed publicly. Has replaced “hermaphrodite,” which is inaccurate, outdated, problematic, and generally offensive, since it means “having both sexes” and this is not necessarily true, as there are at least 16 different ways to be intersex. You can learn more about intersexuality here. 

LAMDA: the Gay Activist Alliance originally chose the Lambda, the Greek letter ‘L’, as a symbol in 1970. Organizers chose the letter to signify liberation.

LESBIAN: A woman whose primary sexual and affectional orientation is toward people of the same gender.

LGBT: Abbreviation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender.  An umbrella term that is used to refer to the community as a whole. There are other variations of this which mix up the letters (GLBT) or are more inclusive such as adding ‘queer’, ‘intersex’ or ‘asexual/ally’ in LGBTQIAA.

LIPSTICK LESBIAN: Usually refers to a lesbian with a feminine gender expression. Can be used in a positive or a derogatory way, depending on who is using it. Is sometimes also used to refer to a lesbian who is seen as automatically passing for heterosexual.

METROSEXUAL: First used in 1994 by British journalist Mark Simpson, who coined the term to refer to an urban, heterosexual male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle. This term can be perceived as derogatory because it reinforces stereotypes that all gay men are fashion-conscious and materialistic.

MTF (M2F): Male-to-female transsexual or transgender person. Someone assigned male at birth who identifies on the female spectrum.

NON-MONOSEXUAL: People who have romantic, sexual, or affectional desire for more than one gender. Bisexuality is the most well-known form of non-monosexuality.

OMNIGENDERED: Possessing all genders; exhibiting cultural characteristics of male and female. The term is specifically used to refute the concept of only two genders. 

PACKING: Wearing a phallic device on the groin and under clothing for any purposes including: (for someone without a biological penis) the validation or confirmation of one’s masculine gender identity; seduction; and/or sexual readiness (for one who likes to penetrate another during sexual intercourse).

PAN: shortened version of and slang term for Pansexual/Panromantic.

PANGENDERED: A person whose gender identity is comprised of all or many gender expressions.

PANROMANTIC: the romantic attraction to all sexes/genders, and one identifying with this orientation.

PANSEXUAL, OMNISEXUAL: Terms used to describe people who have romantic, sexual, or affectional desire for people of all genders and sexes.  Used by many in place of “bisexual,” which implies that only two sexes or genders exist.

PASSING: Describes a person’s ability to be accepted as their preferred gender/sex or race/ethnic identity or to be seen as heterosexual.

POLYAMOROUS: the desire or need to have multiple relationships or multiple people in a relationship.

POLYGENDERED, PANGENDERED: Exhibiting characteristics of multiple genders; deliberately refuting the concept of only two genders.

POLYROMANTIC: poly-meaning many; see also Spectraromantic; the sexual attraction to various sexes/genders, and one identifying with this orientation.

POMOSEXUAL: a neologism used to describe a person who avoids sexual orientation labels such as heterosexual and homosexual. It is not to be confused with asexuality, which is a sexual orientation used to describe an individual who does not experience sexual attraction.

OUTING: Involuntary disclosure of one’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or intersex status.

QUEER: Anyone who chooses to identify as such. This can include, but is not limited to, gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered people, intersex people, asexual people, allies, leather fetishists, freaks, etc. Not all the people in the above subcategories I.D. as queer, and many people NOT in the above groups DO.   This term has different meanings to different people.  Some still find it offensive, while others reclaim it to encompass the broader sense of history of the gay rights movement. Can also be used as an umbrella term like LGBT, as in “the queer community.”

SAME GENDER LOVING: A term used by some African-American people who love, date, and/or have attraction to people of the same gender.  Often used by those who prefer to distance themselves from the terms they see as associated with the “White-dominated” queer communities.

SEX: A categorization based on the appearance of genitalia at birth. Refers to the biological characteristics chosen to assign humans as male, female, or intersex.

SEXUALITY:  The components of a person that include their biological sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, sexual practices, etc.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, and/or affectional attraction.  Terms include homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual, pansexual, non-monosexual, queer, and asexual, and may apply to varying degrees. Sexual orientation is fluid, and people use a variety of labels to describe their own.  Sometimes sexual preference is used but can be problematic as it implies choice.

SEXUAL REASSIGNMENT SURGERY (SRS): A term used by some medical professionals to refer to a group of surgical options that alter a person’s “sex”. In most states, one or multiple surgeries are required to achieve legal recognition of gender variance.

STRAIGHT: A person (or adjective to describe a person) whose primary sexual and affectional orientation is toward people of the “opposite” gender.

STRAIGHT-ACTING: A term usually applied to gay men who readily pass as heterosexual. The term implies that there is a certain way that gay men should act that is significantly different from heterosexual men. Straight-acting gay men are often looked down upon in the LGBTQ community for seemingly accessing heterosexual privilege.

STEALTH: This term refers to when a person chooses to be secretive in the public sphere about their gender history, either after transitioning or while successful passing. (Also referred to as ‘going stealth’ or ‘living in stealth mode’.)

STUD: An African-American and/or Latina masculine lesbian. Also known as ‘butch’ or ‘aggressive’.

TRANSFAG: A trans male-identified person who is attracted to/loves other male-identified people.  

TRANSGENDER: Used most often as an umbrella term, and frequently abbreviated to “trans” or “trans*” (the asterisk indicates the option to fill in the appropriate label, ie. Transman). It describes a wide range of identities and experiences of people whose gender identity and/or expression differs from conventional expectations based on their assigned biological birth sex. Some commonly held definitions:
  1. Someone whose behavior or expression does not “match” their assigned sex according to society.
  2. A gender outside of the man/woman binary.
  3. Having no gender or multiple genders.
  4. Some definitions also include people who perform gender or play with it.
  5. Historically, the term was coined to designate a transperson who was not undergoing medical transition (surgery or hormones).

For more on what the term transgender can umbrella, click here.

TRANSITION: An individualized process by which transsexual and transgender people ‘switch’ from one gender presentation to another. There are three general aspects to transitioning: social (i.e. name, pronouns, interactions, etc.), medical (i.e. hormones, surgery, etc.), and legal (i.e. gender marker and name change, etc.). A trans* individual may transition in any combination, or none, of these aspects.

TRANSSEXUAL (TS):  A person who perceives themselves as a member of a gender that does not “match” the sex they were assigned at birth. Many pursue hormones and/or surgery. Sometimes used to specifically refer to trans* people pursuing gender or sex reassignment.

TRANSMAN: Also referred to as FTM.

TRANSPHOBIA: A reaction of fear, loathing, and discriminatory treatment of people whose identity or gender presentation (or perceived gender or gender identity) does not “match,” in the societally accepted way, the sex they were assigned at birth. Transgendered people, intersex people, lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, and other non-monosexuals are typically the target of transphobia.

TRANSWOMAN: Also referred to as MTF.

TRIANGLE: A symbol of remembrance. Gay men in the Nazi concentration camps were forced to wear the pink triangle as a designation of being homosexual. Women who did not conform to social roles, often believed to be lesbians, had to wear the black triangle.  The triangles are worn today as symbols of freedom, reminding us to never forget.

TRYKE: A trans female-identified person who is attracted to/loves other female-identified people.

TWEENER: also referred to as a ‘softball lesbian’, not femme and not boi or butch

TWINK: gay male version of ‘Tweener’

TWO SPIRIT: These terms describe indigenous people who fulfill one of many mixed gender roles found traditionally among many Native Americans and Canadian First Nations indigenous groups. These roles included wearing the clothing and performing the work that is traditional for both men and women. Dual-gendered, or “two-spirited,” people are viewed differently in different Native communities.  Sometimes they are seen without stigma and are considered emissaries from the creator, treated with deference and respect, or even considered sacred, but other times this is not the case. “Two-spirit” is the closest thing to an appropriate umbrella term in referring to these gender traditions among Native peoples.  However, even “two-spirit” is contested in modern usage.

WOMYN: Some people spell the word with a “y” as a form of empowerment to move away from the word “men” contained in the “traditional” spelling of women.

ZE/HIR: Alternate pronouns that are gender neutral and preferred by some gender variant persons. Pronounced /zee/ and /here,/ they replace “he”/”she” and “his”/”hers” respectively.

Sources: 

http://lgbtcenter.ucdavis.edu/lgbt-education/lgbtqia-glossary

http://projectqueer.tumblr.com/lgbtqterminology

http://transgayinfo.tumblr.com/post/2766555592/queertionary-2-0

http://lgbtqadvice.tumblr.com/terms

What is homophobia?

The irrational hatred and fear of homosexuals or homosexuality.  In a broader sense, any disapproval of homosexuality at all, regardless of motive.  Homophobia includes prejudice, discrimination, harassment, and acts of violence brought on by fear and hatred.  It occurs on personal, institutional, and societal levels, and is closely linked with transphobia, biphobia, and others. Internalized homophobia is the fear and self-hate of one’s own homosexuality or non-monosexuality that occurs for many individuals who have learned negative ideas about homosexuality throughout childhood.  One form of internalized oppression is the acceptance of the myths and stereotypes applied to the oppressed group. 

What is biphobia?

Fear or hatred of people who are bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, or nonmonosexual. Biphobia is closely linked with transphobia and homophobia.

See words and phrases  that are biphobic and why here.

See what biphobia looks like here.

What is transphobia?

A reaction of fear, loathing, and discriminatory treatment of people whose identity or gender presentation (or perceived gender or gender identity) does not “match,” in the societally accepted way, the sex they were assigned at birth. Transgendered people, intersex people, lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, and other non-monosexuals are typically the target of transphobia.

See words and phrases that are transphobic here. 

What should I do if hear something homophobic?

If you hear someone say a homophobic slur or myth about homosexuals, you should point out to them that it offends you or others around you. Think B4 You Speak has a lot of helpful tips on how to stop homophobia around you. Remember to stay calm and assertive. The person may not realize what they have said was homophobic. Do not yell or curse at them; This will only make the problem worse. Never let an argument progress to physical violence. 

What should I do if someone in charge (a teacher, principal, boss) says or does something homophobic or transphobic?

If it you believe it it discrimination, you should click here to inform the ACLU. Do not keep quiet about this issue. The bigger the press, the quicker they’ll see to resolve the problem.

How do I know I’m gay?

Same way you know you’re straight. Everyone’s described crushes and love and you’ve probably heard many cliché phrases a million times… butterflies in the stomach, head over heels… Well they’re just as true for LGBT people! Most everyone feels romantic, loving feelings. Oftentimes, especially as a teenager, there is sexual arousal as well (Asexuals being the exception here however).

What does it mean to be gay?

Feeling a same sex romantic, aesthetic, and/or sexual attraction. However, only you can decide if you want to define how you feel.

Do I have to be in a gay relationship or have sex to know I’m gay?

Imagine a 15 year old boy. He knows he’s straight. He’s always been attracted to girls. But he’s always been single. No one will probably ever question his sexuality, even though he hasn’t dated or been in a relationship or had sex with a girl. As far as LGBT persons go, the same rules apply. You could be single your whole life, but you’ll always know who attracts you.  

If you’re born gay, how come most LGBT don’t realize it until their teen years?

Most 4 year olds don’t know their straight. Most 9 year olds don’t grasp the concept of homosexuality, bisexuality, or heterosexuality. It takes until puberty starts for most LGBT teens to realize they’re different than their peers. They’ve probably thought the same way their whole life and perhaps it has been repressed or gone by unnoticed. However, most transgendered people notice they are different at an even younger age and know their mind doesn’t fit their body. 

1. Having a gay-friendly banner on your blog or website can show you’re supportive and welcoming. You can find banners at White Knot, We Give a Damn, and Think Before You Speak. As an Ally, you can print out a safe zone sign and put in on your folders, binders, locker, or at your workplace to let others know that you are accepting. 
2. If you’re gay and comfortable with doing so, come out! As Harvey Milk said: “I cannot prevent anyone from getting angry, or mad, or frustrated. I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” 
3.  Or you can come out as an ally
4. Devote a Facebook status, Twitter update, or blog to an LGBT issue. Getting the word out helps a lot!
5. Learn to use gender-neutral pronouns
6. Read 52 things you can do for transgender equality and carry out some
7. Attend a PFLAG meeting
8. Participate in the Day of Silence
9. Don’t use homophobic, biphobic, or transphobic slurs or phrases and stop others from doing the same
10. Donate time or money to LGBT organizations. Every now and then I will post opportunities to do so, so keep an eye out for those!
11. Learn the facts and spread them!

How do I submit something?

Click here.

How do I ask a question?

Click here.

What if I want to submit anonymously?

You can send it in via submit. If you submit it, I will see your name, but I will leave you anonymous unless you ask otherwise. If you are looking for advice, check here first or e-mail me at FYLGBT@yahoo.com

How do I send in a picture?

Go to the submit option and change “Submit a Text Post” to “Submit a Photo”

I’ve noticed a lot of couples’ pictures. What if I’m not in a relationship?

You can still submit your picture! Send in whatever you want to say to us as long as it’s LGBT and appropriate (Please don’t submit ‘Follow me!’ posts).

Do I have to join Tumblr to follow this blog?

The only way to get the most recent updates and to comment, reblog, or ‘like’ the posts would be to join Tumblr, but you can save the main page on a bookmark and check back daily for the new posts.

I love your icon. May I steal it?

Sure thing! I’d love to see it spread around :] It was made for me by a follower based off this original icon.

Why wasn’t my submission posted?

There’s many possible reasons that this has happened. 

• Not submitted correctly
• Irrelevant, not relating to LGBT topics, trolls, inappropriate
• It’s something I’ve posted before
• I’ve already received the same news story, similar article, etc. 
• The grammar/spelling is too distracting to the point of being obnoxious 
• I haven’t gotten around to reading the really long posts and/or giving advice after hearing your life story 

Reasons why I’ll post something right away from my submissions box would be

• It has a deadline
• It catches my attention
• I have an immediate answer for you

Why are some posts all bolded?

Those posts are submissions and are tagged as such. Sometimes I will add my own comment at the end, which will not be in bold.